|
|
|
(my PGP key, and you can get PGP from here)
|
|
Cats arrived last night - I have cats! Or rather I am looking after a couple of cats for a friend of a friend while she moves house. Two cats - fully grown but tiny. A boy cat called Felix (black with white smudges like the cartoon cat who advertises the catfood), and a tabby girl cat called Angel (slightly rubbish name: I am considering a temporary name change to something less girly).[Epimetheus and Janus] actually approach each other once every four years, but instead of colliding, the moons deftly exchange orbits and move apart again.Crikey.
What is needed now, starting on May 6, is a campaign so mighty it sweeps all before it, unstoppable, unarguable, as angry as the Chartists, as big as the anti-war march and the Countryside Alliance combined.Too right! After all, we know just how effective the anti-war marchers and the Countryside Alliance turned out to be.
This guy is pure evilAnd on Hannibal Lecter's escape:
Right down to the core,
His home's filled with corpses
And poodles and gore!
Look what he did to this officer's face
He chewed off his cheeks and he sprayed him with mace.
We're all in a tizzy, oh Jesus where is he
Oh where could Hannibal be?
"If we vote No we take the responsibility for interrupting 50 years of European construction," Mr Chirac warned at a news conference. ...Right. 50 years of construction has given us a trade area that can't even get its act together setting import tarrifs, and this should be fixed by adopting a new constitution?
Mr Schroeder said the dispute with China [over cheap textiles] highlighted the importance of a Yes vote on the European constitution.
"If a country hit hard were alone, it would be much more difficult to defend itself than if it acted in concert with other countries."
So I'll soon get to put my little X next to representatives of A) the ginger muppet who can't even get it together to vote against detention without trial. B) Mad Mike "Burn a gippo" Howard, who appears to have been subjected to a partially successful tongue transplant. This is the only feasible explanation for his strangely adhesive pronunciation and tendency to repeat a handgun-waving, foetus-hugging agenda suited to an entirely different country. C) Blair - a term used to describe any blood-spattered piece of ordure. ...Good one,
"Seems like god has really let himself go a bit - it started off well what with the creation of heaven and the earth in six days, but it's now declined to crappy salt stains underneath motorway bridges that vaguely resemble some long dead celebrity. He's a bit like Dr. Who - used to be good but now it's just embarrasing."Another sign of impending apocalypse is the cursed witch-chickens:
"Some people tried to shout at them, but the chickens just stared at them"Ah well, that proves it.
Galloway: "Your family joined the puppet government."In this context "puppet" is no gentle word of political rough-and-tumble. It is the stated position of George Galloway and his party that Iraqi "collaborators" and "quislings" are legitimate targets for the insurgents (who "deserve the support" of his party). That sentence of Galloway's should end with "...so deserve to be killed."
Stumbled across your site while I was reading about the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Lo and behold there’s my name plastered all over it [ie: mentioned in one post]. ...Well, I suppose that's... spontaneous, if not dazzlingly inventive. And it is comical, even if not intentionally so.
Write me and tell me who you are and just what it is you do. In fact, tell what you did before weblogs made it possible for every five and dime gasbag with an axe to grind could spout their bile into the ether. Let’s meet up and have a chat, you dumb cunt. ...
GEORGE Galloway’s attack on the government’s "obliteration" of home-grown car manufacturers backfired yesterday when he was forced to admit he drove a Mercedes.Truly the man's a working class hero. There's no Rover, or no other British-built car, that can measure up to the tasks his Mercedes has to perform? I presume these arduous tasks are something other than the provision of plush leather-upholstered air-conditioned luxury for George Galloway. Certainly there are some vehicles other than the S-Class Merc (prices from £48,000) which provide essential getting-you-from-one-place-to-another car functionality. If he's so concerned about British manufacturing he could have bought a Jag, for half the price.
At the launch of his anti-war party Respect’s election campaign, Mr Galloway decried "the destruction of British manufacturing" and the demise of MG Rover.
Asked by The Scotsman why he drove a Mercedes if he felt so passionately about MG Rover and the potential axing of 6,000 jobs at Longbridge, Mr Galloway replied: "I drive a Mercedes because there is no Rover equivalent for the tasks my Mercedes has to perform. I wish there was."
Mr Galloway, who was expelled from the Labour Party, drives an S-class model with cream leather interior. He had left a cigar in the parked car’s ashtray while he wooed the media in London yesterday. ...
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie is an abomination. Whereas the radio show, TV show, books and computer game are all recognisably variations on a theme, this is something new and almost entirely unrelated. It’s not even a good film if viewed as an original work: the characters are unsympathetic, the cast exhibit no chemistry, the direction is pedestrian, the pace plodding, the special effects overpowering (lots and lots of special effects, none of them funny mind you) and above all the script is amazingly, mindbogglingly awful. Oh, and they have taken most of the jokes out.I don't think he liked it. And judging by what the long review has to say, and what isn't in the film, I don't blame him.
This is a terrible, terrible film and it makes me want to weep.
| Wonderful video clip (3MB, WMV format) just forwarded to me, of police dealing with a Dungeons & Dragons shooting incident. |
|
The current system allows MEPs to receive tens of thousands of euros a year in first-class travel payments, on top of their annual salary.Gits.
They do not have to produce receipts, meaning they can claim the full amount even if they have flown on budget airlines or been given a lift in a car. ...
|
Yes, folks... that cute baby duck time of year's come round again. Awwww. |
|
|
|
Both the US and Britain are muddying the waters in ways that will scarcely make non-nuclear states feel more secure. The US has weakened the concept of "negative security assurances" - whereby nuclear states would not threaten or attack non-nuclear states with such weapons - by suggesting that it might use them in response to a biological or chemical attack, or even in other circumstances."Negative security assurances" mean never using nuclear weapons against non-nuclear states? Lets see if that's what they've been taken to mean by the people whose interpretation matters most:
[Since] 1978, the United States has pledged not to use nuclear weapons against non-nuclear-weapon states that are members of the nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty (NPT), except if attacked by such a state that is allied with a state possessing nuclear weapons. At the same time, successive administrations have maintained a policy of "strategic ambiguity" by refusing to rule out nuclear weapons use in response to attacks involving biological or chemical weapons.Nor is it new for the US to suggest use of nuclear weapons in reponse to biological or chemical attack, at least not according to this US Army doctrine document, from 1996.
...
On April 5, 1995, Secretary of State Warren Christopher announced a slightly revised policy, which was most recently repeated on February 22, 2002 by State Department spokesman Richard Boucher:
"The United States reaffirms that it will not use nuclear weapons against non-nuclear-weapon state-parties to the Treaty on the Nonproliferation of Nuclear Weapons, except in the case of an invasion or any other attack on the United States, its territories, its armed forces or other troops, its allies, or on a state toward which it has a security commitment carried out, or sustained by such a non-nuclear-weapon state in association or alliance with a nuclear-weapon state."
There is nothing new about US strategy allowing for first use of nuclear weapons, and the use of nuclear weapons in response to chemical or biological attack. This is certainly not something that ghastly bellicose Texan has done since he arrived in the White House. Anyone who might expect the security affairs editor of a major national newspaper to know this - and explain it to his readers - is clearly expecting too much.The overriding mission of US armed forces is to deter war. Should deterrence fail, the US will prosecute war to a successful conclusion. Should the enemy use [nuclear, biological and chemical] weapons, US armed forces will respond with military operations, which may include nuclear and conventional attacks.
...
The US may use nuclear weapons to terminate a conflict or war at the lowest acceptable level of hostilities. This means we may use nuclear weapons first. Another nation(s) cannot attack us using conventional weapons without risking nuclear war. When faced with a numerically superior enemy, we reserve the right to use nuclear weapons against that enemy. Nuclear weapons use requires Presidential release authority.
...
The US will never use biological agents. Enemy use of biological agents or toxins against US or allied forces will be considered a violation of the 1972 Biological Weapon Convention and possibly the 1925 Geneva Protocol. US policy allows the option of responding to such an attack with conventional or nuclear weapons.
There is a problem with the scenario "we do services and the Chinese make cars": what do we send to China to pay for the cars? It is very difficult to export services - takeaway pizzas cooked in Birmingham won't be bought in Shanghai.Eek, it's like the Opium Wars all over again.
George Bush and Tony Blair have a strategy to deal with this problem: use military power to grab the world's natural resources, and demand tribute from China and the rest of the world.
Changing someone's mind about Blair, or for that matter Bush, is a political equivalent of the quest for alchemy.
A French "no" to the EU constitution would be a catastrophe, and in large part Tony Blair's fault. If Blair hadn't caved in to pressure to hold a referendum over here, the French government could have got away without holding a referendum too - thereby avoiding the unpleasant possibility of people voting "no".You see? Because Blair had the gall to let us (horror) vote on constitutional change, the French public got all uppity and demanded the right to (gasp) vote on it as well. This is all most unfortunate because once you give people a say they might vote the wrong way. Why they didn't just go ahead and title it "Damn Fool Lumpenproletariat Shouldn't be Allowed to Make Decisions" escapes me. And the 'Independent' sells itself as a champion of democracy and progressive politics (whatever that means).
"I was on IRC, and someone mentioned how cool it would be to use their PSP on wi-fi at Starbucks to talk to people over IRC. I said, 'I can do that', so I began working on it immediately"Now there's a man who deserves our respect - even if he does sound like he needs to get out more.
Saddam Hussein watched the televised election of Iraq's new president from his jail cell yesterday and was "clearly upset", a senior official said.The poor lamb.
Michael Howard may disgust many Samizdata readers by being just another opportunist political hack, but he is nevertheless, I would say, a much more impressive and consequential figure than his two predecessors at the head of the Conservative Party.His predecessors, of course, being... erm, some guy and... the other one.
They stripped Mr Kumaran naked and left him by the side of the road - but not before cutting off the end of his index finger with a machete [so they could disarm the car's immobiliser].Thanks, Dave (and I'm sorry about the tasteless puns about fingering the culprits etc).
[The survey found] just 5% of people in Wales got satisfaction scrubbing a toilet.Just 5%? Of course, the whole thing's complete bunk, having been commissioned by a supplier of household cleaning products. So it's a bit like those surveys that say things like "83% of people said they felt happier when they spent more on their lunchtime sandwich - according to a survey carried out by the Expensive Sandwich Company" or "People with blond hair really are more attractive to the opposite sex - so says a study released today by Hair Bleach Inc."
Proposals to send Britain's nuclear waste into space or to the bottom of the sea are impractical, a government advisory committee has warned.Insightful.
The flag on the abbey was at half mast today, presumably out of respect for the Pope, which was nice. I note that the inpatients at Truthseeker are on the alert, taking the opportunity to repost on their front page a warning that the Pope was "a part of the Luciferian conspiracy to create a totalitarian world government":
... I present this material because it is consistent with the emerging picture of an organized Satanic Conspiracy to subvert mankind. ...[*rolls his eyes*].
This might be true. Some claim the picture is doctored. It looks pretty real to me.Judge for yourself, as he kindly provides a link to the relevant page of the Laserway Anti Gravity Research Division, which extensively documents this groundbreaking leap in technology. Mmmm... convincing.
A huge aquarium is to be built on the site of a disused brick works in Bedfordshire. The bio-dome complex at Stewartby near Bedford will rival the Eden project in Cornwall, cover 40 hectares and be enclosed under massive domes. ...Fantastic. Usual caveats apply about spending public money apply (quite how much public money's involved isn't clear), but - woo-hoo - a giant bio-dome thing full of fish and lizards and stuff. How amazing is that?
Justina McLennan, of Bedford Animal Action, said research has shown that fish suffer stress in aquaria.... Ms McLennan said: "Fish and reptiles shouldn't be kept in a confined environment. We're afraid that what is being marketed as a conservation project will in fact be nothing more than an animal-testing facility." ...Well knock me down in surprise that "research has shown that fish suffer stress in aquaria". I have no doubt fish suffer stress in the wild as well, but research hasn't shown it because fish in the wild - almost by definition - can't be studied as closely as fish in aquaria. Please get a grip and shut up.
Shockingly, not only will NIRAH be an aquatic zoo, but it will also house a laboratory in which drug company and university scientists will carry out research on aquatic or semi-aquatic animals, to investigate the 'biomedical potential' hidden in the toxins, venoms and secretions they produce.They say that as if they're bad things: "New medical knowledge - oh, it's shocking! Figuring out new ways of feeding people - that's even more scandalous!"
Even more scandalous are plans to conduct research into ways of farming some of the fish and reptiles for meat in their native countries
It simply removes affection by geomagnetism ... and extends the wobbling width by 5-10 years.Any extension of the wobbling width is a good thing.
Is there no shame that, in its annual review of press freedom three years ago, the international media monitoring organization, Reporters Without Borders, placed Australia 41st in the world. Countries with greater press freedom were the following: Lithuania, Bosnia, El Salvador, the Dominican Republic, Bulgaria, Hong Kong. ...Reporters Without Borders placed Australia 41st in the world for press freedom three years ago? That must have been in their "first worldwide press freedom index (October 2002)", which placed Australia... in joint 12th place with Belgium, scoring a mere 3.5 non-freedom points out of 100. That report puts Australia clearly ahead of Hong Kong (18th freest press with 4.83 points) and El Salvador (joint 33rd place), which was ahead of Bulgaria in 38th place and Bosnia in 43rd place with 12.5 non-freedom points. Lithuania and the Dominican Republic aren't mentioned at all, so I can't imagine how John Pilger thinks they came above Australia. Unless he just made it up. He rants on:
... None of this, or the reasons why, are ever mentioned at the numerous back scratching awards ceremonies so beloved by the Australian media.Quite possibly because it's not true.
A very good indicator is what we call the the discretionary federal budget, which is really just a breakdown of what is spent on the various aspects of our civil life in America - from healthcare to education, transportation, umm, and what you do see when you break these catagories down is that essentially the military spending is twice all the other subjects combined and so essentially we now spend as much on the miltary as we do on everything combined plus a great deal.The impression given is the US government spends twice as much on the military as it does on everything else combined. Big claim - and also utterly untrue. What we are not told is that discretionary spending "is about one-third of all federal spending". That means military spending is less than one quarter of the federal budget (a lot, but much less than "twice as much as everything else combined"). And the federal budget is only a part of all US government spending, because it excludes state budgets - which is where the responsiblity for most educational funding lies.
Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld announced yesterday he intends to cancel the Army's $11 billion Crusader artillery program ...Okay, I grant you - cancelled so money could be spent on other military projects. But cancelled nonetheless despite people having jobs and votes depending on it. And what of the Comanche stealth helicopter, with its 20 years of development and billions of dollars already spent? Cancelled as a white elephant, despite all the votes and jobs and favours which would have been depending on it.
[Remember] the behind-the-scenes manipulation of Japan which compelled it to invade Pearl Harbor, which Franklin Roosevelt then used as an excuse to attack Germany. ...Erm. okay.
Almost no one I know of believes the official version of what happened in the murder of President Kennedy. After 40 years of discussion, it seems like Michael Collins Piper’s “Final Judgment” furnishes the final word on the matter, that JFK was dusted because he demanded Israel open its nuclear facilities for inspection, and that he wanted to diminish the power of the Federal Reserve, so these two entities got together and concocted an elaborate scheme to blame a CIA groupie for the crime and used a CIA hit team to do the deed, with the fatal shot actually being fired by the driver of the presidential limo. You haven’t read that in the New York Times lately, have you?No I haven't, and I can't think why.
Corrections and clarifications -- Wednesday March 16Whoops.
A photograph of a mountain identified as Mount Kilimanjaro was actually of Mount Meru, a neighbouring peak on the Tanzanian border (Meltdown, page 5, March 14).
The error is contained in the book from which the photograph was taken, Northsoutheastwest, published by The Climate Group and the British Council. The front page picture was, as stated, of Mount Kilimanjaro.
Robotic dolls that behave like babies addicted to drugs and alcohol are being used to teach teenagers on Teesside the dangers of drink and drugs. ... They shake and scream as they go through withdrawal and teenagers in the area will be asked to look after them single handedly for two nights. ...That it's necessary to do this is just too depressing for words.
You've seen the action movies where the bad guy threatens to destroy the Earth. You've heard people on the news claiming that the next nuclear war or cutting down rainforests or persisting in releasing hideous quantities of pollution into the atmosphere threatens to end the world.(Thanks for the link, Dave).
Fools.
The Earth was built to last. ...
Nicola Calipari was already 220 yards inside Baghdad Airport's security perimeter when he received an incoming call on his cell phone. Calipari said "Yes?" and instantly recognised the positive ident trap. As Deputy Chief Calipari cursed & threw himself across Giuliana Sgrena to protect her, the kill team from Langley fired more than 300 bullets at their car. ...Joe... how do you know any of that? What on Earth is a "positive ident trap"? Why, if a "kill team" really fired more than 300 bullets at her car, did Sgrena survive? It might be relevant that the first link in the "other links" section of Joe's front page is to a merchant of marijuana seeds and marijuana smoking accessories.
He'd been working on a story about the World Trade Center attacks and had stumbled across what he felt was hard evidence showing the towers had been brought down not by the airplanes that flew into them but by explosive charges set off in their foundations. Now he thought someone was out to stop him publishing it: "They're gonna make it look like suicide," he said. "I know how these bastards think . . ." ...Absolutely batty. Next week; how Tommy Vance was bumped off by the CIA, using lasers, for playing music George Bush doesn't like much.
Sounds a lot like a professional hit with a silencer ...
[Kohki Abe, a professor of law at Kanagawa University] is the chief justice of a four-person panel of the International Criminal Tribunal for Iraq (ICTI) that has judged the two leaders guilty of a series of charges.Ah. Riiight.
Abe said: "The people's tribunal does not have any binding force, and critics say that makes it useless because it doesn't have any power."Yes, I suppose critics do say that. And they're right.
Artists Bob and Roberta Smith's exhibition Help Build the Ruins of Democracy is a call to action. The exhibition space has been developed with visitors to the gallery, who have been invited to contribute their own texts and help create panels.Right on, sister.
The first panel was a beautiful screen print that read "ART not WAR". As you make your way round the space you are bombarded with various texts that read "Tony Blair is a zombie of death", "Clare Short blew it" and "The Labour Party are weasels and vipers, forked tongued turncoats who have spattered British people’s faces with blood".
Robert Fisk's assertion that "Incredibly, Tryon's deputy was none other than John Jellicoe" is astonishing. As a commander young Jellicoe was Tryon's junior by four ranks. He was second in command of Victoria, but that is a very far cry from second in command of the Mediterranean Fleet.But hey, it's reassuring to know that nothing remotely newsworthy's happening in Lebanon isn't it?
It was as national affairs editor of Rolling Stone that Thompson achieved his international reputation as the founder of "gonzo journalism", a hybrid of fact and fiction, fuelled by the real or imaginary intake of drugs and alcohol.Because obviously, taking a load of drugs and then writing a semi-fictional account of what's happened is so much better than just writing down the facts of what happened.
Characteristic white mushroom cloud rises above Beirut, marking the nuclear murder of former Lebanese Prime Minister Rafik Hariri and thirteen of his associates."Mushroom cloud"? That's a smoke plume. And Joe adds two more to his ever-growing list of alleged Israeli nuclear bombings (don't forget that the Bali, Baghdad, Jakarta and Taba bombs were Israeli nuclear bombs, too) with the Beirut barracks attacks back in 80's:
Then on 23 October the same year [1983], Jewish 'Special Forces' war criminals detonated two Dimona micro-nukes outside the American and French marine barracks in Beirut, killing 241 and 58 soldiers respectively. As with the murder of Rafik Hariri in 2005, western media outlets tried to 'false flag' Hezbollah and Syria for the atrocities.What is this obsession the man has with nuclear bombs? He can't just try to to blame Israel for blowing people up with bombs - that's not enough for him - Israel always has to blow people up with nuclear bombs. I think I might send him a t-shirt printed with something appropriate like "I exposed the Zionist Cartel setting off nukes, and all I got was this crappy T-shirt".
Two journalists facing jail for refusing to reveal their sources had their appeal quashed yesterday. A panel of three judges panel ruled unanimously that they had no constitutional right to withhold the identity of their contacts from a criminal investigation.The First Amendment exempts reporters from revealing their sources to a criminal inquiry? Let's see what it actually says:
The case has wide-reaching ramifications for freedom of the press in the United States. Judith Miller of the New York Times and Matthew Cooper of Time Magazine have been held in contempt of court for refusing to answer questions before a grand jury.
The two journalists claimed that the leaks from government sources of a covert CIA officer's identity were protected by First Amendment privilege, which exempts reporters from revealing their sources to a criminal inquiry. ... [My emphasis] ...
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.Now of course a journalist could say "forcing me to reveal a source would compromise my ability to do journalism in future, thereby making the press less free". But the wording of the Amendment seems to give no greater freedom to the press than it does to speech generally. A non-journalist could say "making me honour my 'truth, whole truth etc' oath in court would force me to say things I don't want to, thereby reducing my freedom of speech". Nobody would expect that to stand up, so why should the journalist's argument? It's a tricky one... if only there were some sort of court or other referee (let's hypothetically call it a "supreme court") who could rule on exactly what protections the Constitution does and doesn't afford.
The panel cited a 1972 supreme court decision, Branzburg v Hayes, when a reporter was forced to testify about the production of illegal drugs. They said that the supreme court's "transparent and forceful" reasoning applied to the two reporters before the appeals court. ... "the [supreme] court stated that it could not 'seriously entertain the notion that the First Amendment protects the newsman's agreement to conceal the criminal conduct of his source, or evidence thereof, on the theory that it is better to write about a crime than to do something about it'." ... [My emphasis] ...The supreme court is the ultimate interpreter of the U.S. Constitution, and Younge himself tells us that in 1972 they specifically ruled that the First Amendment doesn't exempt reporters from revealing their sources to a criminal inquiry. So why did he tell us earlier that it does? And as for those "wide-reaching ramifications for freedom of the press in the United States" which he mentioned, surely the only ramification is that, erm, the situation remains exactly as it has been since 1972.
"We are hoping the community will help by collecting poo for us and dropping it off in plastic bags. New or old, we'll take it all"I'm sure people will be only too happy.
I vaguely remember at the age of six being aware that something was happening outside of my world. It was 1997 and Tony "Bliar" had just been voted in as prime minister.Fear the reign of terror of inexpensive pingpong balls. And everything's so unfair!
Little did I know it was to be the beginning of a reign of terror. Since then Blair (with help from George Bush) has sent hundreds of troops to kill and be killed.
Blair says he's interested in education. But at our school - which is meant to be a sports school - the equipment is falling apart due to lack of government funds. We only have four pingpong balls, which you can buy for 25p! As young people - I'm 13 - we deserve to hear about politics and we deserve a say in how our country is run.
I found your article "Is alcohol the demon drink?" (Socialist Worker, 5 February) interesting, although I feel you were too soft on the temperance movement.The bourgeois medical profession? Is this the 1920s?
Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous are god cults. And they are dangerously wedded to a bourgeois medical profession that is in turn wedded to the pharmaceutical industry.
We knew something was coming. I had met an old journalist colleague for coffee on Saturday and we both said we felt there was a new, menacing atmosphere about Beirut. We didn't mean the sky-high prices and the usual corruption stories, but the incendiary language in which Lebanese politics was now being conducted. ...I'm not saying that's untrue, but it seems odd that on Saturday Robert Fisk hadn't thought to mention these gathering Lebanese stormclouds to his readers. One could almost have been forgiven for thinking he had nothing of interest to report, so was forced to fill that day's column with reminiscences about the steam trains of his childhood:
With a spare hour on my hands before lunch in Lebanon this week, I revisited the joys of my childhood, crunched my way across the old Beirut marshalling yards and climbed aboard a wonderful 19th-century rack-and-pinion railway locomotive. ... All my life, I have been fascinated by trains. My mother used to take me down to Maidstone East station in Kent to watch the tank engines pull their local trains in from Ashford or the old Second World War Super Austerity class steamers - big, ugly beasts with a firebox the shape of a squashed toilet roll - with a mile of rusting trucks in tow. ...Clearly that's far more important than any impending regional cataclysm.
The National Association of Kebab Shops was founded in January 2003 and is a voice for the often-unheard British Kebab Industry.Often unheard, but frequently stepped around on the pavement.
Amazing colour photographs from WW1. Now of course at this point you are probably thinking the same thing I did when I saw them:
That's impossible... everybody knows World War One was fought in black and white. They must be black and white photos which were coloured in afterwards.Ah, but they are proper colour photographs and, believe it or not, the technology behind them was potato-based. |
It's not often that kidnap and threats of killing are funny, but this is just remarkable. The jihad warriors in Iraq claimed to have captured an American soldier. They even release a photograph to back up their claim. But then people looked upon the photograph and they said;
"dude, that looks, like... totally wrong". And then others looked upon the photograph and they said; "he does seem to be posed rather stiffly and that banner in the background isn't hanging properly and the writing on it does look sort of wobbly and cack-handed". Then
others looked upon the picture and found its all contents in a toy catalogue. The jihad warriors in Iraq said:
Look, we're not kidding! Our mujahadeen heroes of Iraq's Jihadi Battalion were able to capture this American military man John Adam - who really does exist and is much more than one foot tall - after killing a number of his comrades and capturing the rest. We swear this is true. See how authentic he looks, with his realistic hair and his gripping hands. God willing, we will behead him - who is certainly not a child's toy - if our female and male prisoners are not released from US prisons within the maximum period of 72 hours from the time this statement has been released. Oh yes. We mean this. See how he has a full array of realistic accessories. God is great, and all sorts of stuff like that. Accept our demands or burn in toytown hell, you infidel sons of pigs and monkeys!An American army spokesman replied: "Huh? We've not lost anybody." |
|
How extraordinary. Coffee from beans which have been thrown up by Vietnamese weasels.Weasels roam the coffee plantations and eat the ripe coffee beans, but rather than digest them the weasel regurgitates them and vomits them up ... The mind boggles. It's very expensive, but I suppose that's because a man has to go around the coffee plantation with a bucket, scooping up little puddles of weasel vomit. That sort of thing doesn't come cheap. |
|